Why don't you look at me the way I look at you?
by Secretsofthedarkness
Summary: A little bit of angst for you, ladies and gents. Pairings: Rhys/Gwen, Gwen/Jack, Joh/Jack, Ianto/Jack and Jack/Doctor. Reviews make me smile like a bunny.
1. Rhys

Rhys:

I suppose I've never been completely secure about you.

But I mean, for gods sake, look at you. I'm not a bad man, but I know I'm not exactly a pin up. And your georgous, Gwen. Your bloody georgous.

I never did really believe my good luck. Which is why I suppose I've never completely trusted you. Why when you used to say you'd be late for work, I'd always be thinking, in the back of my head, "She's with someone. Someone with a six pack. And a better car."

And then you joined flipping Torchwood, and started staying out every night. I barely saw you for weeks. I still don't, hardly. Even though we're married now I'm still not sure about all of this. You out, fighting aliens all the time. You could be killed! Worse, your spending all your time with that bloody captain. The one with the american accent and the stupid grins. Don't you think I've seen the way you look at him Gwen?

Why don't you ever look at me like that?


	2. Gwen

Gwen:

I suppose I've never totally loved Rhys. I mean, he's ok. He doesen't have a bad, mean bone in his body. And he's funny too, I suppose. He's your perfect husband. And I never really felt I'd picked the short straw... until I met Jack.

Now, Jack is as differen't to Rhys as chalk is too cheese. Jack is cheeky, confident, sexy, flirty ... anything he does he does to perfection. And he's so mysterious. Even if he wasn't so damn good looking I still would be drawn to him. He has so many layers. I know everything anyone will ever know about Rhys... but no matter how close you get to Jack, you never really know him.

I love Jack, you know.

There are differen't types of love, really. I do love Rhys. I'd kill anyone who tried to hurt him. I love him. But if I'm honest, whatever passion there was faded away long ago. And Jack ... the kind of love I feel for Jack is the kind that takes you over. But also the comfterable kind. All at the same time. I can stare at him for ages without getting tired of his face. I can talk to him for hours and never get bored.

He's really perfect...

And he does like me. I know he does.

It's not the flirting that makes me think so. I once caught him flirting with a Weevil. No... it's... hard to explain. The way he looks at me. He doesen't look at the others like that.

When he left I missed him. That's why I said yes to Rhys. And now he's back... but it's too late... isin't it?


	3. John

John:

Oh god.

I mean really, how embarressing.

John Hart in love.

Well that's something no one, including me, thought would ever happen.

I decided long ago I don't have any problems. It's the rest of the bloody world that does. The only thing fellow humans are good for is to mug, screw, flirt, and kill.

Might sound cynical, but really, what else is there to say?

But then there's Jack. Bloody Jack Harkness. And I suppose it was one of those old age things that bored ugly lonely people say about love at first sight. But really. I saw him and couldn't stop staring.

I suppose I've always loved him. We used to be so alike. He worked in the time agency together. I actually didn't hate all his ideas. And I'd killed some of my partners for saying the wrong thing before. And, of course, the sex was amazing.

Well, any sex with me is amazing, but Jack is a rival, I have to say.

And then, one day, he dissapeard. For the first time a human had managed to hurt me. Make me feel all lost and abandoned and vunerable.

All the things I really hate.

And then I see him again and he's gone all moral. But he's still as sexy as ever. Only he's now sexy _and _un-attainable.

Everything anyone could ever want.

And he refuses to spend time with me. I mean, the first time I can kind of understand. I did try to kill him and his stupid little team of un-deserving idiots (though they are pretty, I have to admit.). But the second time, that's what got to me. I mean, I get given the chance to run, but nooo, I stay and save his little team and help them find him again. And he still just ignored me and asked me to leave.

That hurt, I'll admit.

I've never been a romantic, but I swear, if I could have him I'd never want anyone else. Whenever I'm with someone else I'm thinking about him. He's like a bloody plague.

But one day, captain Jack, you will be mine.

I love you.

Don't you ever forget it.


	4. Ianto

Ianto:

Ianto Jones, reporting for juty.

Member of Torchwood Three...

and Jacks part time shag.

I've never been one to fall in love. I either feel everything, or nothing, and most people can't bring out enough feeling in me for me to love them. Lisa did.

And Jack did.

It's hard not to love Jack, really. I mean, everyone does. The problem is, he makes it worse by flirting with everyone. Not just the attractive ones either. Seriously, everyone. Aliens, Men, Women..

It's bad for your self esteem to be involved with Jack.

If you can call it involved.

With most people, when you regulary having sex, flirting all the time, seeing eachother regulary... it's un-spoken that you are together. But with Jack, it means nothing.

Friends.

Part time shag.

Tea boy.

I suppose I'm one of those people who seem so ordinary, but have secrets they hide. One of them, for instance, is that when I was a teenager I used to have panick attacks pretty regulary. I have trouble trusting anyone. And I've only been in love twice in my whole life.

Once with Lisa, and now with Jack.

It's so easy just to forget when your around him. Just forget that your pretty sure your being used. That even though he'll do anyone, he'd rather be doing bloody Gwen then you. It's easy to forget how he can build you up, make you feel so special, and then just ignore you and crush you.

It's easy to forget how he's completely un-aware he does all these things.

It's so easy just to close your eyes and believe.


	5. Jack

Jack:

Do you ever think about me?

I waited for you. I don't think you really understood when I told you.I felt so abandoned. So betrayed. Normally, whenever people hurt me, I just walk away. Move on. Shag some semi attractive indivdual and flirt until I've forgotten.

But I couldn't do that with you. I couldn't move on. So I tried to find you. I waited for so long, Doctor. Over the time there were many, many people. A few relationships. I even fell in love a few times. But I still never forgot about you.

Torchwood was something to do to keep me from going mad. It was also a easier way to find you. These people tracked down aliens. When you finally came, we'd be the first to know.

The strange thing is, the one man I've never actually shagged is the one man I've ever truely and completely loved. The others are all great, lovley people, brilliant in bed, very attractive... but their just distractions.

You asked me to come. I said no. You left.

I think about you all the time. But I know, in my own stupid way, this is me trying to get over you. I need to find a new meaning in life. One that isin't you... if I stayed with you, how long until you left me again? How long until you broke my heart and I was stuck with no one? Where I'd have to build my life again.

I have a life here.

Still, I can't help wishing you'll come back. Just so I can see you. And hey, you can fall inlove right? We both liked Rose, but I know you loved her. If you can fall inlove with her, maybe you could fall inlove with me.

Anything can happen.

That's what being over 200 years old can teach you.


End file.
